Healing
by ShyBookworm33
Summary: "Please don't hurt me" I sob so hard, my small reserve of breath quickly depleting. Pushing me to the ground, he reaches for a long whip, I hold my hands up to shield my face, fear coursing through me so hard I shake. "Please!" His dark eyes cold and calculating, pushing his dark hair out of his eyes, his arms lean back, before coming back down, repeating the motion. Nalu AU
1. Chapter 1

_My breath shudders in the cold air, my lungs weak and fragile. My can barely feel my limbs, hunger eating at me, the floor stinging my cheeks. I have no energy left to cry, and I have no way to know how many days its been, in my isolated shed. I can hear the scrape of the thick metal door opening, my muscles tensing up._

 _Echoing thuds from the man's boots fill my cage, and I don't know how but i manage to squeeze out more tears, sobs wracking at my throat. He snatches me up by my thin arm, painful cries escaping my mouth._

" _Shut up!" He snarls, yanking me around, "You women are all the same! I thought you liked strength in a man?" He sneers, squeezing my arm, his nails digging into my flesh._

" _Please" I beg, "Let me go...what did I do...please"_

" _You pushed me away, you act nice, but really you are a spiteful gossip! You and your blonde hair, makes you think your so perfect!" He starts to rant, smacking me around, throwing my into the one room I dread. It holds weapons, dried blood and memories of pain. I can almost hear the screams of the other girls before me, their voices soaked into the walls, just like the blood._

" _Please don't hurt me" I sob so hard, my small reserve of breath quickly depleting. Pushing me to the ground, he reaches for a long whip, i hold my hands up to shield my face, fear coursing through me so hard i shake. "Please!" His dark eyes cold and calculating, pushing his dark hair out of his eyes, his arms lean back, before coming back down, repeating the motion._

 _Soon I'm screaming, the sound of his whip whizzing through the air. I try curling into a ball, to hide from the torment, the hateful torture. Soon my muscles unclench, my mind slipping away, "Don't kill me, don't kill me, don't kill me" I mumble, coherent thought gone. I feel a strong kick to the side of my head and-_

I sit up covered in a cold sweat, my breath coming out in short gasps. I feel like the air around me is void of oxygen, like when i take a too hot of a shower, the steam overpowering my lungs; only I'm choking on fear and tears. Shakily I get out of bed and walk to the bathroom, turning on the faucet I splash cold water on my face, my heart rate slowing. I stare at myself in the mirror, dull brown eyes staring back at me, pale purple bags accenting my lower lashes. I dare not go back to sleep again, glancing at the clock I breath a sigh of relief, I had to be up in two hours anyway.

Turning all the lights on in my house, and triple checking that all my locks are secure I make my way to the kitchen. Filling a coffee cup with water and placing it in the microwave, I pull out my Passion Flower tea, hoping it will sooth me, even though it rarely does. The microwave signals that my water is ready to mix with my tea bag. As I dip the string repeatedly into the cup, I glance at the calender on my wall. Today is July 1st, my birthday, and the ten year anniversary of my kidnaping. I tear my eyes away from the calendar and power up my laptop, sifting through my e-mails.

Soon the sun kisses the horizon, the pale yellow and pink light taunting me on this dreaded day, this dreaded week. I quickly get dressed for work, my white blouse and black pants uniform and average. I glance at my reflection one last time, grimacing at myself.

Ten years ago i did everything I could to enhance my beauty. Everything from clothes to makeup. I would spend hours each morning before school preparing myself, eager for any attention I could get. Now I don't even care.

The investigators say it was only my age and blonde hair that played into my would be killers reason at my abduction. That he was mentally unsound, and associates all young blonde woman with someone from his past. I was unlucky to catch his sights, but was I really lucky to be the only girl to live?

I know it was more than my outer appearance that made him try to kill me. The things he said to me, "fake care, laughs, and smiles". I would do those things to gain the attention of boys, but only 'hot' boys as my friends and I used to say. I truly was no better than the girl who crushed his sanity.

Grabbing my car keys, I leave my lonely apartment, leaving all the lights on despite the monthly bill. Better safe than sorry, this is what I have learned. Carefully checking my small mini cooper before getting in, I quickly slide into the car and lock the doors.

Pulling out of my drive way, i drive carefully and by the book. Even on duty police officers don't drive like me. Stopping at a stop light just before my place of income I noticed a man with striking pink hair standing on the corner. It surprised me to say the least. He is nodding his head, hands in his pockets. I notice he's wearing a scarf around his neck, despite it being the middle of summer.

I have avoided all men as much as I possibly could, especially dark haired ones. I had seen a therapist for a few years, but couldn't find the 'healing' she was always talking about. I could however interact with most men now without having a panic attack. This made work much easier to find and keep, not all employers were understanding to my hidden scars.

Tearing my eyes from the odd man, I pull into the intersection at the permission of the green beacon above me, and slowly pull into the parking lot of the small drug store on the corner.

Once through the automatic doors, a blast of cold air throws my hair around my face, some strands finding their way into my mouth. I pull my apron on behind the counter, fix my hair and start counting down my register, putting it under my name and number.

My boss doesn't mention my haggard look, but sympathy seeps from her very being, as she know what this day does to me every year. She has told me I can take the day off, but I can't. I need the distraction. Even if it is just stocking shelves, managing customers and cleaning up messes. It helps, it keeps the last of my sanity from breaking.

The day goes smoothly until, as I'm picking up a large box, I feel a slight tap on my shoulder. Jumping at the foreign contact I drop the box and spin around. I'm face to face with a man, but he looks familiar. His pink hair bring me back to this morning, when i thought how odd he looked on the corner.

My manager comes running at the sound. He eyes widen when they meet mine. The man is a good head taller than me, and is well built. I stare back at his dark eyes. They should have scared me senseless, but they don't. I see concern in the fold of his brow, and the down turn of the corners of his lips.

"Sir I can help you over here," my manager chimes in, gesturing down the aisle away from me. He glances back at her before turning back to me.

"I don't need help ma'am," he bends down and picks up the box I dropped, "I was only going to offer to help her carry this. It looks heavy" he flashes me a blinding grin, his canines prominent in the smile. I just continue to stare, concerned over his effect on me.

"Sir that is kind of you but-"

"It's ok Ms. Spetto," I send her a ghost of a smile. I turn back to the man and walk back to the store room, he quickly follows after.

"Sorry for scaring you"

"It's ok, I was only startled that's all." I pause thinking over a question in the back of my mind, weighing if I should let it be or try to obtain an answer. "why is your hair pink?" I blurt it out before i finish thinking about it, and regret it immediately, until he laughs.

"What a weirdo. Everybody asks about the hair. Maybe I should dye it." He says the last part to himself.

"Well?"

"If you must know, it is natural."

"interesting, but not impossible" I grin a little, just enough for the corners of my mouth to point skyward.

"Yes, very true" he laughs. We reach the store room, where I take the box back, as customers are not allowed behind the doors. He follows me back to the front counter, where I can see Ms. Spetto release a large breath, looking like a huge weight has been lifted off her shoulders.

"Thank you for your help sir. Is there anything else we can help you with today?" I note his lack of products to purchase, thinking he must just have had trouble finding something.

"Actually," he squints at my apron, "Lucy. I was wondering if we could hang out sometime?" He smiles in a childish manner, not like some men who are trying to look attractive. I flinch, eyes wide.

I have never been on a date, only a few group outings in college and even that was physically painful. I quickly lost friends because of my anxiety. Ms. Spetto looks between us, he head whipping back and forth. The man starts to lose his smile, uncertainty pulling at the corners, as the awkward silence drags on, and I continue to stare.

"Lucy? You ok?" He waves a hand in front of me trying to bring me back to reality when all is does is bring back a memory.

 _The man is reaching for me as I pull away. I quickly reach the wall, the metal bleeding through what's left of my clothes and searing my back. He pulls back his hand before bringing it back down on my face._

I jump back, my heart pounding and my breath coming out in quick gasps. I lay a hand on my heart trying to calm myself. I haven't had an 'episode' in awhile. He just looks at me with such raw concern, it would be lapping at my feet before slowly rising to cover me.

He starts to move towards me again, but she stands in his way. "I think you should leave sir"

"whats wrong with her?"

"Leave or I'll call the cops."

"I'm sorry but I'm not leaving till I know she's ok." He glares at Ms. Spetto, she glares back, neither one backing down, lightning crackling through the air.

"You sir are the problem, now leave"

"What did I do?!"

"She-"

"Please stop it both of you, you're causing a scene." I hiss in embarrassment, other customers eavesdropping or blatantly staring.

"I'm sorry" The man looks down, but determination still burning in his eyes.

"Why should I hang out with you, I don't even know your name?" I murmur almost silently, uncomfortable with the whole situation.

"Oh! I'm Natsu! And I want to be your friend." He practically starts shouting, clearly proud of himself. Some customers giggle behind folded hands, while others put items back and start to leave the store.

"I'm not comfortable with that. I don't even know you" I start to shrink away, wishing the floor would swallow me up and bury me forever. The thought of being alone with him doesn't scare me like it normally would, and that terrifies me. He gives off this air of safety and comfort; a weird ironic calm energy.

"That's ok, I'll just come see you here, and we can get to know each other better." his smile is so blindingly bright, yet soothing. I don't know what I think of this man. I had but given up hope of ever finding a man to spend the rest of my life with seeing how I couldn't even be alone with them.

"What?"

"See you around Lucy! Oh and you look beautiful today!" He waves and leaves the store, the doors closing slowly behind him. I glance at Ms. Spetto and she nods softly at me. I take off my apron and shove it behind the counter before dashing out the store and driving as quickly as I can home. Once inside I collapse, tears running down my face, limbs shaking and fear coursing through my veins.

With trembling fingers I call a number I haven't called in over a year. I anxiously wait as the rings space themselves, pleading for the other end of my call to answer. With a soft click, and a loving voice i cry even harder.

"This is Ms. Strauss"

"Ms. Strauss" I croak, "It's Lucy, I really need to talk."

"Lucy! I'm coming right over please stay there, ok? Make yourself some tea, and take deep breaths, maybe try a cold shower ok?"

"Ok," and the line goes dead.

After a cold shower, I was feeling a little better, my hands no longer quivering. I slowly make tea, breathing in and out to the count of fives. I hear a soft knocking at my solid wood door; it doesn't startle me. Opening the door slowly, I usher the woman in, out of the heat. She slowly gives me a hug and leads me back to the kitchen.

She is quiet as she makes herself some tea, waiting patiently for me to begin. She has long white hair, and dark blue eyes; eyes that see everything. Her fingers are slender and graceful, gentle and precise in all their movements. Placing a hand on my shoulder, she sits beside me.

"What happened today to make you call me?" Her voice is like windchimes, lulling calm over anything that hears.

"Today is ten years exactly," I begin, my voice oddly calm, a tremor barely there. "And this man came into work today…"

"Did he scare you Lucy?"

"No...and that's what scared me. He said he wanted to be friends."

"Did he now?" her forehead and nose scrunch up.

"He…"

"Take your time Lucy it's ok"

"He said I was beautiful….but there is nothing beautiful about me." I finish quietly.

"Lucy remember what I said about self worth. You are beautiful, and this man saw that in you."

"But look at me Mira!," I barely register that I called her by her nickname, "I'm scarred, both physically and mentally. Who would want something like that. Something so-so-"

"Beautiful, Lucy. The word you're looking for is beautiful." She takes my hands, folding them in her own. She stares at me with those all knowing eyes, looking straight into my soul. "Lucy...you're scared, I get that but I'm going to challenge you with something. Get to know him."

"Why?"

"Because he just might help you heal. You need to connect with people. Do what makes you comfortable, but try just talking with him." She smiles at me, reminding me of my mother. I nod slowly, but doubt creeps in, I bite my lip.

"What is it Lucy?"

"He won't like me after he knows….everybody leaves once they know."

"You don't know that. Give him the chance to prove himself, but yes don't put too much of yourself into this, I don't want you hurt ok?"

"If you say so Mira."

"Why don't we schedule biweekly appointments again? That way I can help ok Lucy?" I nodd. She stands up and pulls me into a tight embrace, before pulling back to look me square in the face, "I've missed you Lucy, don't ever be afraid to talk to me, you are more than a patient, you're a friend."

"I know Mira, I'm lucky to have you." She waves as she walks down my driveway, I watch until she's out of sight, then close the door, deep in thought over what she has asked me to do.


	2. Chapter 2

The last few days have been full of nothing but nightmares like every year. I wake up in cold sweats, light headed from my rushed blood flow and over worked lungs.

I'm not only physically tired but emotionally as well. Natsu was only trying to be nice, but it took all my willpower to appear normal. I talked to Ms. Spetto about what Mira said, it's the only reason Natsu has been able to enter the store again.

He beings be some sort of lunch everyday, having said the first day he brought it that "food is the way to anyones heart". I can't help but smile at the memory. I pull myself out of bed once again, having tried to go back to sleep only 30 minutes ago. Giving up on a peaceful rest I turn on my t.v, flipping through channels until I find a documentry on sea creatures.

I soon finish four different documentaries; sea life, ancient cities, museums, and the plains of Africa. The sun has entered my home, heating up the carpet where it touches. I make a quick breakfast before heading off to work today, a little bit more of a spring to my step.

I wave and smile as I walk into the store, Ms. Spetto looking at me like I grew another head. She rushes over to me, hands clasped in front of her chest in worry, or maybe hope. "Lucy dear, you seem extra happy today."

"I wouldn't say extra, after all I'm still not sleeping," I smile at her again, "but I am feeling a little better. I wonder why?"

"I think it's because of that boy."

"What? Natsu? No!"

"Well, I'm sure Ms. Strauss can help you figure it out." She steps away from the conversation, leaving me to help a customer. I look down at the list of things to do today and choose the ones that keep in the back of the store the longest.

As I perform inventory I think about what she said. That my last few days are happier now because of Natsu. Is this true? A man! How can the thing that stops me dead, and makes my mind go blank with absolute terror bring me joy? How? I need to talk to Mira.

I stack a few boxes, my headphones in, my back is to the door. I hum quietly to myself, whispering a few lyrics aloud every few verses. I finish counting an open box of toothpaste, stacking it back on top of its unopened brethren. Suddenly I can't see, something going over my eyes. I suck in my breath and start to panic.

Thrashing around, and screaming I try to get away. My attacker grabs my shoulder, shouting at me. I open my eyes to see Natsu, his eyes wide in fear. He slowly pulls my earbuds out, almost like he's afraid to set me off again.

"Geez Luce you're so weird. It's not like I'm going to kidnap you or something." I gently takes my hands, but I snatch them back, a panic attack coming on. I start hyperventilating, backing myself away from Natsu. My legs give out on me, as I start to rock back and forth, fearful murmurs filling my ears.

"Don't take me away…please don't hurt me"

"Lucy!?" Natsu kneels before me, his nervousness washing over me.

"Don't kill me" I sob over and over, memories over taking my vision. I'm pulling at my hair now, my face wet with tears. I can faintly hear Natsu calling for help, and asking me what's wrong.

"Someone help!"

"What did you do!" I now hear Ms. Spetto

"I don't know, she just started freaking out"

"Get away from her, you're making it worse! I don't know why I let you come into my store to begin with. Lucy can you hear me? I'm going to call Ms. Strauss now ok?"

" Ms. Strauss? Mirajane? How do you know her?"

"Shut up boy! Get out of here." There's a pause in the conversation, "Ms. Strauss? Yes this is Lucy's boss, she's having an attack. Ok I see. Ok. Mhmm. Ok thank you."

My hysteria gets worse, my rocking faster, my lungs begging for air. Everything from my kidnapping to my torture flashes before my eyes. I can feel the pain of every scar on my body, like it's fresh. I feel gentle hands on my shoulder, the touch barely there.

"Lucy listen to me. I need you to take deep breaths with me ok? One...Two...Three...Breath in….one...two….three….out, very good, let's do that again ok?" Ms. Spetto talks me through the exercise, slowly but surely, bringing me back to reality, the pounding in my head lessening. I look up at her, my body weak from the attack.

"Lucy, oh good you've calmed down." I look up too see a frantic Mira running to me, her eyes and hair frazzled. Natsu comes up behind her, an unreadable look on his face. She pulls me into a hug, looking me in the eyes, "are we ok now Lucy, what happened?"

"I-I" I can't speak yet, my voice hitching at each attempt. I feel more panic rising up in me.

"No, don't speak, it's ok, tell me later. Right now you need to calm down. Remember, one two three breath. There you go."

"Mira, what is going on? Is she a patient?" Natsu finally speaks up. His hands are stuffed into his pockets, her forehead wrinkled with concern.

"Natsu! What are you doing here?"

"Get out boy! What have I told you, you make it worse." Ms. Spetto screams again, swatting at Natsu.

"She's the girl I told you about. The shy one that I was trying to become friends with" He jumps away from the older woman, focussed completely on me.

"Oh. I see now." She turns to Ms. Spetto, "I got things from here, don't worry. I'll take Lucy home, your store needs you right now."

Once the three of us are alone in the small store room, Mira finds a chair for Natsu to sit on, while she stays on the floor beside me. She rakes her slender fingers through my hair, numbing my mind to my anxiety. "Natsu how much do you know about Lucy?"

"Practically nothing, but I thought I was starting to get through to her...what's wrong with her?"

"There's nothing wrong with her Natsu. She is just having trouble healing is all."

"Oh" Is all he says

"Lucy Dear are you ready to tell him?" I just sit there truly over thinking the question. Mira gives me time to answer, addressing her next words to Natsu. "You know you are the only man she has had contact with this long?"

"What why?" Mira sighs before I give her a small squeeze. Squeezing back she answers his question.

"Because five days ago marked the ten year anniversary of," Mira pauses, "a man….kidnapped her. He kept her for a full week. Investigators saved her just in time."

"What?" he whispers in disbelief. I flinch, preparing my heart for rejection once again. I can't bring myself to meet his gaze, so I look at the floor.

"He was a serial killer...Lucy is the only one of his victims to live. Now you did something to set her off what was it?" Mira takes a dangerous tone. I glance up just to see Natsu look away, scratching his cheek.

"I umm, might have, you know, tried to surprise her, by umm, sneaking up on her" Mira brings her fist down on his head.

"You idiot! What have I told you about doing things like that!"

"Oi it's not my fault! I thought she was just shy, geez. Not like she told me anything."

"Apologize fool, you were supposed to help Lucy not have me start all over!"Natsu gets up and slowly walks over to me, like he doesn't want to be near me. That hurts something inside me.

"Hey Luce, I'm sorry I really didn't know. I'm obviously bad at picking up social cues." He tries to smile at me, but it looks more like a grimace. I swallow thickly.

"It's-it's ok…" I start slowly, "You didn't know it would set me off" I laugh weakly, "Haven't had one of those in awhile."

"Now Lucy remember walk me through exactly what happened."

"I was doing inventory when something covered my eyes, I panicked." Mira practically snarls at Natsu, he flinches, shrinking in fear of the woman before him. She sighs and turns back to me.

"Then what happened, remember take your time."

"Then he took my earbuds out, that's why I didn't hear him. He said something about...weird...and kidnaping…" I grow weak at the end, my shaking starting back up. Mira jumps up again, this time her hands almost wrapped around his neck.

"You said what!" She screeches, "What is wrong with you!"

"Whoa Mira! I said She was weird and that I WAS NOT going to kidnap her." He is now holding his hands in front of his face defensively, like he's waiting to be hit. Did people smack him around often? If so I feel bad for him. Mira does smack him again.

"Lucy Dear, I'm going to take you home now ok?"

"What about my car?"

"I'll drive it for you." We look at Natsu who offered. Mira looks at me, waiting for my answer. Do I want him to know where I live? Can I trust this man that I've only known for five days? Mira can see I'm really thinking it over, she squeezes my hand encouragingly.

"You can trust him Lucy. I've known him since he was a kid. He may be an idiot, but he's genuinely good. He won't hurt you on purpose. If today is any account." I nod slowly, reaching into my pocket to hand Natsu my keys. Mira helps me off the ground, and leads me back through the store to her car, parked right next to mine.

Natsu follows close behind as we pull out of the parking lot and head to my home. In ten minutes we reach my house. I get out of the car, Natsu already beside me to hand back my keys. "Do you want me to come inside?" Mira is hovering between getting in, or out, of her car. I glance at Natsu, who is still beside me.

"Come on in" I walk up my walkway, fingering my three house keys. I unlock each lock, one above the knob, the second a few inches above those. I quickly disarm my alarm, leaving my keys in a bowl by the door. I don't look at Natsu, afraid of what he is going to think and say. "Would you like something to drink?"

"Some tea would be nice Lucy" Mira joins me in the kitchen, sitting at my table.

"Umm some water I guess," He mumbles taking a seat beside Mira. While the water is heating up I fill a glass for Natsu, my hand shaking a tiniest bit as I place it on front of him. It's an awkward silence in my house. Finally I break the silence, needing to get my thoughts off my chest.

"I'm sorry"

"What are you sorry for Lucy" Natsu asks, leaning towards me the tiniest bit. I fidget with my hands, unable to meet his gaze. I feel ashamed. I'm broken and unclean. Everybody has left me either because of my anxiety or because of what happened to me.

"I'm...I'm….I understand if you don't want to be friends anymore." I whisper.

"What!?" He cries out indignantly, hands slamming down on the table.

"I'm a mess Natsu, it's a fact. I don't think I will ever get better…" I shrink away from him, the tea forgotten.

"I don't care. I'm not going anywhere. You don't just ditch someone because you learn something about them that is a little uncomfortable." I look at him as he rants, my eyes wide in amazement. I don't know why but I feel the need to argue with him, to prove him wrong.

"But everybody leaves. My anxiety is too much for people to handle."

"That's a stupid excuse," He snorts, "Who told you that?"

"People I used to know."

"Well I'm staying put, there's nothing you can do about it. Ya I might not always say or do the right things, but I'm not going to leave you on your own anymore." He daringly takes my hand at that, squeezing tight enough that I know he means business. I start to cry, my relief and joy crashing around my, breaking from my walls.

"Natsu, I'll talk to you later tonight, ok?" Mira smiles knowingly at us before walking out the door. I stare after her, realizing for the first time in my life I'm not only alone with a boy, but alone in the privacy of my house no less.

"Whoa Lucy calm down. I'm not going to do anything. I'll leave right now if you need me too."

"Yes ple-please. Sorry."

"Don't apologize. Do you like chinese?" He asks as I walk him to the door. I nod slowly. "Then I'll see you for lunch tomorrow." He flashes me a signature grin before waving in farewell. I stand at my window, pulling back the curtain just enough to watch him walk down the street, a serious look on his face. I collapsed on my couch, before turning on the T.V to distract myself once again.

After a few hours I get up to restart my tea and make some dinner. When I reach the kitchen my eyes land on the glass of water I had made for Natsu a few hours ago. I feel my face heat up as I remember his words, and promises. I have never had friends for long, maybe this time will be different.

* * *

I walk slowly deep in thought about the events from the day. Lucy had scared the crap out of me when she had her panic attack. I hadn't know what to do, and even worse I had caused it. Here I thought that she was just really shy when all this time she was scared of men. Wow I'm an idiot.

I had seen her in the store a few times before, and I found her interesting. I wanted to get to know her. I thought she was beautiful hen I first saw her, but there was something hidden about her. Something mysterious and lovely. Her brown hair and eyes would glow more than they do, and I wanted to be the one to make her happy. I had sorta accomplished that, then messed up, now I just need to gain her trust.

My phone startles me out of my thoughts, the volume blaring. Fumbling to answer it, I almost drop my phone twice. Breathlessly I answer the call. "Hello?"

"Natsu, can you come to my office now? You're not still with Lucy are you?"

"No," I answer Mira, "I left right after you. I'll be there as soon as I pick up my car." I hang up on her and walk the last bit quicker. Once I'm back at the store, I bump into Ms. Spetto in the parking lot. She glares at me with such hatred, I felt like she blasted a hole through my center. I stand next to my car, having the stare off with the woman.

"I know what happened to her. I'm not going to leave her to live with that by herself any more."

"I still don't want you in my store."

"That's ok, I'll still see her during her lunch breaks, but I won't go into your store."

"Why are you so determined boy?"

"Because I don't like to see people be alone."

"Get out her here" She turns and stomps back into the small building, the doors sliding closed behind her. Shaking my head with a small smile, I get into the car and speed off to Mirajane's office. Once there I ride the elevator up to the third floor, and wave to the receptionist as I open the door to her office.

"Great Natsu you're here." She is sitting at her desk, a file in hand. I sit across from her, the chair soft and plush. Must be comforting to her patients, I wonder if Lucy has sat in this room?

"What did you want to talk about Mira?"

"About Lucy's case. Here's the file the investigators gave me. It's not complete of course, but enough information so I could do her therapy." I take the file from her and start reading.

The further I read the more my blood runs cold. I clench the papers tights, my eyes flying over the words, wanting to read them and not wanting to know at the same time. She had been tortured repeatedly, starved and dehydrated. She stayed in the hospital for well over two months, having been in a coma the first week.

On one of the pages is a picture of Lucy, but she has blonde hair. There are scribbled notes beneath it, I can make out most of it.

Victim number 13: Lucy Heartfilia

Blonde hair, brown eyes.

D.O.B July 1st, 767

D.O.A July 1st, 781. Age 14 years old.

Taken from the school. No witnesses.

I'm shaking by the time I reach the end of the file. Wait July 1st? "She was kidnapped on her birthday!?"

"Sadly yes. He stalked his victims and learned everything about them. He told interrogators that he was rejected by a blonde hair girl when he was starting high school on his birthday. He had some twisted reasoning for his actions."

"That was the day I talked to her. Wow I suck"

"Natsu you didn't know, don't beat yourself up" Mira giggles at me, obviously finding my depression funny.

"Thanks" I respond dryly, which only makes her laugh more.

"She dyed her hair?"

"Yes, she hated to do it too, but people who knew her made things worse."

"People are stupid." We drift into thoughtful silence for a few minutes. She soon breaks into my thoughts.

"Natsu what do you plan to do?"

"I plan to just be her friend. Sure I'll be gentler, and aware of my actions, but why should I treat her any differently than the rest of my friends"

"Not too much like the rest of our friends I hope" She looks at me pointedly. I look back at her, annoyed at her implications. I get up and wave to her, walking out of her cozy safe haven. Tugging at my scarf as I ride down to ground level, I plan to go to sleep early tonight, I have a big day tomorrow. I grin to myself, excited to make Lucy's day.

* * *

So I based this story off the show Criminal Minds, because I started thinking how do the victims that survive their abductions live afterwards. Yes I have never experienced a panic or anxiety attack, so sorry if I describe it wrong. I plan for this to be only about 4-6 chapters, and will try to finish it before I work on any other pieces, I have a bad habit of jumping from one prompt to the next. Thanks for all the follows and favorites hope you guys enjoy.


	3. Chapter 3

I stare at myself in the mirror, my dark brown hair fading back to blonde at the roots. Maybe I'll go get it dyed, but maybe I won't. Natsu said that I shouldn't hide who I truly am for the convenience of others, that I should be comfortable in my own skin. He's been really patient and kind to me these last 7 months. I start to pull my hair back into a side pony like I used to, trying to figure out when I started wanting to look nice for Natsu.

I think back to the day after Natsu found out about my past. Mira gave me his number, saying he wanted mine but didn't want to pressure me. I texted him that morning, daringly giving him my number, and letting him know when I had lunch that day. He told me that he was no longer allowed in the store, but if I meet him in the parking lot he would bring me lunch.

When I stepped out into the parking lot, I was surprised to say the least. He had brought chinese like promised, but set up a whole 'date'. He had placed a fold up table and chairs on the sidewalk outside the windows. There was even a tablecloth and a small vase with two flowers in the center. He stands there proudly, hands on his sides, the largest grin I have ever seen taking up his whole face.

I had laughed when he pulled out my chair and handed me folded up take out boxes. He talked most of the time, but it was enjoyable nonetheless. From that day on we had lunch outside at his travel table, in bad weather we would sit in his truck. To say he hadn't become my most important person, would be a lie.

I fluff my hair one last time, smiling at myself. Thinking for the first time in forever that I'm beautiful, and this is all thanks to Natsu. Twirling around and skipping some steps I finish getting ready for work, excited for lunch today. Because of the colder weather, Natsu offered to take me out today instead. I stop cold and look over at the calendar. It is Valentine's Day today. No no no, that can't be, just a coincidence.

My hands start to shake a little, my nerves shot at my revelation. Again it would be a lie to say we haven't been growing closer, but am I ready for that? Do I even like Nastu that way? I pace my livingroom, my brain starting to hurt from thinking so hard. I decide to figure it out later, grabbing my keys and dashing out the door, trying to push Natsu to the back of my mind.

At work I'm distracted and jumpy. Part of me really hopes that he is taking me on a date, and another part of me wonders if I'm even ready for that! Ya we have been hanging out almost everyday, and I feel more comfortable around him now. My phone vibrates in my pocket causing me to jump. Pulling it out Natsu's name flashes across my screen. My brain can't help but send the signals to cause excited flutters in my stomach, and tingling in my toes.

Smiling I ask to leave for lunch a little early, Natsu waving to me from his truck outside. I wave back then gather my things, practically running out the doors. Pulling myself into the passenger seat I smile even bigger as he gives me a quick hug, something he asked permission to do just last month, before driving off.

"So where are we going today?" I bounce a little, my stomach growling, eager for food. He lets out a soft laugh, eyes focussed on the road.

"Well first off, happy Valentines Day." I stop bouncing, completely frozen. My heart starts to beat a little faster, but my brain argues that we are moving too fast. Are we moving too fast? Do I like Natsu this way? Is this a date? Questions and doubts soars through my mind, some incomplete in my rapid thinking.

"Secondly," he continues like he never mentioned the beloved holiday, "I thought we would go to my favorite sports bar, they have the greatest food, and quick service. Better than fast food for your lunch break don't cha think?"

"Ya, that actually sounds nice" I whisper, deciding to push my fears aside for the first time and plunge into this ocean of uncertainties, joy, and yes, pain. I stare out the car window, buildings and trees blowing past us, a blur of colors. Within minutes we pull into rather large parking lot for a sports bar, the building wooden and large. The words Fairy Tail are over the door, glowing a pale neon red in the afternoon sun.

Natsu walks around and opens the door for me, helping out of the tall truck. Taking me hand he leads me inside, many people shouting out a greeting to him by name, before returning to their business. The inside is well lit, and open spaced. There are tables and benches in the middle of the large space, small booths dotting the other three walls, stools lining the bar on the wall closest to the door. I see a familiar flash of white and have to do a double take.

Behind the bar is a beautiful woman with short white hair, and dark blue eyes. She looks just like Mira, only a few years younger and a rounder face. Beside her is another barmaid, except she has purple hair and dark green eyes. Natsu walks over to them, pulling me behind him, my hand still in his.

"Hey Lisanna, how's business lately?"

The silver haired girl responds with a kind smile, a rag and cup in hand. "It's been good. Where have you been? You only show up every few weeks now. I almost thought Grey was missing you" She grins at him mischievously, winking at him. I can tell they are close, and that sends a stab of pain through me. She finally notices me, questions flickering in her eyes. "Who is this?"

"Oh this is Lucy. Lucy this is Lisanna, Mira's sister."

"Oh" Is all I manage, my free hand gripping Natsu's arm, fingers digging into the jacket sleeve. He tightens his grip on my hand, helping me calm down. Her eyes flicker between us, the corners of her lips turning upward and a small giggle. Natsu narrows his eyes at her before taking a seat at the counter, pulling a menu towards us.

Lifting myself onto the stool, I glance over his shoulder at the list of appetizers, dishes, and desserts. "Can I get you something to drink?"

"Do you have iced tea?"

"Yup, plain?"

"Yes please"

"I'll just have some water, no ice"

"Commin right up" She dances away, dragging the other barmaid with her. I watch them go, wondering why she would need a second person to help get two drinks. Oh well. Turning back to the menu I skim over the options, settling on a salad and breadsticks.

"Really Luce, just a salad?" Natsu teases me, poking me in the stomach. "You need some meat on those bones!"

"That's all you feed me now! I need less meat on my bones at this rate" I huff, poking him back, before breaking into a fit of giggles. He smiles at me, and there's a look in his eyes I can't quite place, I stare at him, trying to figure out what he is thinking. His cheeks darken a little, a skeptical look over taking his smile.

"Luce, why are you staring at me?"

"Oh sorry, I got lost in thought" I quickly look away, blushing furiously having been caught staring. Lisanna pops up in front of us, her smile terrifying. I flinch, jumping in surprise.

"Oh sorry didn't mean to scare you. Are you ready to order?" She places our drinks in front of us

"Yup, my special hamburger and a salad with breadsticks please." In a flash she is back from taking the order to the cooks. Natsu looks a little annoyed at her coming back, but before he can say anything, her questions come flooding out.

"So how did you guys meet? Natsu has never mentioned you. Then again he hasn't really been here the last few months."

"Whoa slow down" Natsu shouts.

"Are you dating? You must be. You're the first girl he has ever been alone with. Oh it's Valentine's Day! How cute." She barrels on, leaving no room for us to actually answer her questions, "I'll let you love birds be. Natsu I'll call you later, I want all the details." waving she walks away, looking like she's holding back more squeals.

"Wait-Lis- Oi Get back here!" Natsu looks flustered and annoyed, his breaths coming out quick and ragged, his face red.

"What's wrong Natsu?" I look at him, concern rising up in me. His face only seems to get redder and he starts to sputter.

"I'm fine," he finally spits out, " are you ok? Didn't you hear what she said?"

"I-" I suddenly really think about the meaning behind her words. She thought we were dating. I didn't dislike the idea, but Natsu seemed really embarrassed at it. "I heard her, and it's ok" I whisper, realizing I wished I was his girlfriend and wanted this to be a date so bad.

Natsu Dragneel. How he has changed me, healed me. I would never have given him the time of date, or be alone with him, if it weren't for that one phone call. That one call to Mira, that one push. I will need to thank her later tomorrow at our session. I feel like I'm in a daze. In seven short months, I have fallen for the energetic, weird, pink haired man who helped me out at work.

The man with eyes so dark, darker than those I remember, that all I saw was care and joy. The man who had been nothing but casual and natural in the course of our friendship. The one who brings me lunch everyday. Now that I think about it, I should make lunch for us one day, all that food can't be cheap.

"I don't mind." I don't realize until it's too late to pull the words back into my mouth, that I said those aloud. I slap my hands over my mouth, mortified over what he will say and think. I don't want to lose him now. He's so ingrained in my life that having him forcefully pulled out would be like pulling a tooth without novocaine.

Looking up at him, I don't see the emotions I expect to see. I see relief and, there it is again, that deep emotion lighting up his dark obsidian eyes. What is it? When his features soften, his fanged teeth barely protruding from his upturned mouth. He takes my hand and speaks loud enough that it isn't a whisper, but no one near by could over hear.

"Lucy Heartfilia." He seems to choke a little, his adam's apple bobbing up and down, "would you go out with me?" My breath catches in my throat, I feel like my heart could jump out of my chest and tap dance on the bar top, from pure exhilaration.

"Really?"

"Yes really," He reaches up and caresses my cheek, brushing my hair behind my ear.

"Why?" I'm truly curious. Of all the woman in the world he is asking out, he chooses me. The emotional and mentally damaged girl, who couldn't move on. The girl so physically scarred, they still hurt on rainy days, and when my fears come back to haunt me. The girl who had a panic attack in front of him. Why hasn't he run away?

"Because Luce, you are so beautiful. Not just physically, but your soul itself. You have continued to live despite your trials, and you have a beautiful laugh. You light up the world with your presence. My world is dark without you in it."

"Yes" He squeezes my hand again, giving me the distance I normally request, but right now, I want his arms around me. I lean forward and wrap my arms around his broad shoulders, giggling when he stiffens in surprise, but he soon relaxes, his arms mirroring mine.

"Kiss her!" We jump apart, my chair rocking beneath me, Natsu steadies me while we look to the source of the noise. We watch as Lisanna is pulled around the corner, a hand over her mouth. I jump in fear. Looking at Natsu is worry.

"She's being kidnapped!" Natsu looks at me then back to where Lisanna was before snickering at me, a fond look in his eyes.

"No Luce, Kinana was just trying to keep her from interrupting us. She's ok, trust me"

"Re-really"

"Really." At that moment the purple headed waitress comes out with two plates of food, an annoyed look on her face. She looks at Natsu apologetically while presenting out food to us.

"Don't worry, she's tied up in the back, she won't be bothering you anymore."

"Natsu!" I hiss, shaking him about.

"Umm Kinana, could we keep the kidnapping jokes to a zero around her, please?" She nods slowly, her eyes darting over to me. "And if you could bring Lisanna out unharmed that would be great." She turns and walks back, pulling Lisanna out from behind the wall, unharmed and just as confused as her friend.

"See Luce, she's ok, they just have a weird sense of humor. Let's eat, I'm sure you're hungry" sparing Lisanna one last glance before sitting back down. I slowly bite into my salad before chowing down rapidly, realizing just how hungry I really was.

"Wow this is really good" I gush, picking out a juicy bit of tomato, enjoying the burst of flavor on my taste buds. Natsu nudges me as I pick up another bit of tomato, causing it to fall from my fork to the counter top. I stare at it before turning a glare on Natsu. "Hey what a waist of a perfectly good tomato."

"Opps, want some of my hamburger?" I look at his hamburger, completely repulsed by the sight. Its at least three pattys high, and dripping in hot sauce. There are barely any vegetables and the bun is soaked and falling apart.

"What is that?" I point at his 'food', thinking it is not fit for human consumption.

"Why only the best burger in the world. I added it to the menu myself."

"It's a mess"

"It's delicious" He fire's back, shoving it in my face. I almost fall out of my seat again from reeling away from it.

"Eww no, I'll stick with my salad today." I take to devouring the rest of my salad, and somehow he still finishes his burger before me. I hand him some napkins, all our lunches together has taught me to keep them read and on hand. After paying her takes me back to work. He's silent on the way back, and whenever I look at him, he seems to be battling with himself over something.

"Would you like to meet my family?" He blurts out.

"Umm, wh-, I guess, why?"

"They want to meet you, and they are having me over for dinner tomorrow night. Are you comfortable with coming?"

"Yes, why wouldn't I be?"

"Well my dad can be...umm...very loud and intimidating."

"Is it just your dad?"

"Oh no my little sister will be there as well as my mom."

"Well it sounds like fun, what time?" We are nearing the store now, a red light stalling us from finishing our journey.

"Can I pick you up at 4:30?" The light turns green.

"Sounds good," he pulls into the parking lot now, leaning over to give me a hug, this one a little tighter than the previous ones.

"See you later Luce, love you"

"Bye Natsu, thanks for lunch" I wave as he drives away. A lot happened today, and it's not even four o'clock. That's when my brain registers what he had just said to me. _Love you._ My face flushes and a smile that makes my unused muscles hurt takes my face. Second chances are a funny thing.

* * *

It is now almost time for Natsu to get here, I pace my living room, surely wearing the carpet down, as I wait. I had decided last night after work to buy new clothes and hair dye. Now with a nicer wardrobe and back to being a blonde, I start to doubt myself.

Will Natsu like the change? I haven't had blonde hair since high school, and I only changed it because it not only reminded me of my past, but other people as well. I remember back with all my friends, they kept telling me to dye my hair until the killer got caught, because eleven blonde victim's our age had been announced on the news so far. I had waved them off, saying that I would be fine. My friend Kate had dyed her hair pitch black, wanting to be safe.

I stop in the middle of my pacing, my long skirt brushing against my legs, at the sound of someone seeking entrance at my door. I rush to open it, my brown eyes meeting black ones, and watch as they widen into surprise. I stand there and fidget, looking off to the side as I finger my hair.

"It looks nice Luce. It's been awhile since you have been blonde huh?" He smiles warmly at me, gently taking my hand. I return his smile with a shaky one of my own, my legs now feeling weak with relief. I dash back into the house and grab my purse, then lock my door. Climbing into his truck, Natsu having opened the door for me. We start down the road, the opposite direction I take to work.

"I have never been this way before" I murmur quietly, my grip tightening around the seat belt.

"Well that's fun isn't it? You are seeing things for the first time." I laugh, never having heard such a thing before. "What's so funny?"

"Natsu, you have such an interesting look on life. I wish I could see the world the way you do."

"Sure you can Luce! You will have to just stick with me long enough to learn how" He grins at me, meeting my eyes for a split second before turning back to the road.

"How did I get the chance to know you? I can't deserve this can I?"

"Yes Lucy you can. Everyone deserves happiness" He takes my hand, squeezing it tight. I start to tear up, but scrunch my face up, not wanting to get red and blotchy. "Whats with the funny face weirdo?"

"I'm trying to not cry!"

"Well that's a funny way to do it" I smack him jokingly, while he just continues to snicker at me. He starts to slow down, pulling into a driveway, a grand house at the end of the drive way. I swallow thickly, tightening my grip once more. "It will be ok Lucy...I didn't tell them anything."

"It will be ok, thank you Natsu" The truck comes to a stop, jolting in the driveway. He gets out and walks quickly around to open my door, helping me down from my seat. Taking my hand once more, we stand in front of the door, before he can even reach towards the door is ripped open. I squeak, thinking for sure the door is off it's hinges.

"Natsu my boy! Finally we have been waiting! You have to introduce me to this lovely lady of yours." A tall man practically shouts every word, her deep red hair styled like Natsu's. He brings his hand down towards Natsu. I cling to him, my blood running cold, and insides churning together. His hand grips Natsu's shoulder, pulling him back and forth a little.

I start to take deep breaths, my heart hammering in my chest making it harder to breath. The man looks at me with one raised eyebrow, obviously thinking I am the weird one, just like his son constantly tells me. "Dad if you could tone it down a little for Lucy, that would be helpful" He makes a up and down motion with his hands, glaring at his dad.

"Why is she some weird hermit!" He bellows once again, then a tall and graceful woman comes up behind him, smashing a rolling pin into the back of his head. I start to shake a little, seriously unnerved by the violence.

"Dear do not be rude. If you are bothering her, stop. It is that simple. Now are we going to keep letting bugs in or are we going to close the door." Her hair is long and white, her eyes a striking blue, brighter than Mira's. She is wearing a simple tan sweater and a long skirt similar to mine. She turned and marched back into the kitchen, her husband still eyeing me.

I follow Natsu closely, so close that when he stops I crash into his back. I pull back embarrassed and rub my nose. I look up at him and pout, my lower lip protruding. He blushes a little before snorting at me. " Don't be so nervous Luce, they won't bite I promise"

"Ok" There is a flash of blue above me. Looking up, on the landing of the second floor is a girl, in her late teens with long dark blue hair. She has big brown eyes, sparkling with gentleness and joy. She grins and takes off down the stairs, her elegant dress flowing behind her.

"Natsu!" She cries joyously, jumping the last few steps into Natsu's arms, and he spins her around. He has one arm tight around her waist, the other rubbing her head till her hair's a mess. He sets her down, smiling at her.

"Wendy! When did you get so tall, but you're still a shortie" He places his hand on her head and bends down to her level, while she just scowls at him. He laughs before walking back over to me, taking my hand and gesturing to her. "This is my sister Wendy. Wendy this is Lucy."

"Nice to meet you!" She prances over to me and eagerly takes my hand then pulls me into a hug. Natsu panics for a moment until he sees me eagerly hug her back, and sighs in relief. I squeezed her tight.

"Nice to meet you Wendy! You are cute how old are you?"

"Nineteen."

"You look so young. Jealous!" She just giggles, before she takes my hand and leads me to the dining room. Everything about the house screams money, but generosity as well.

"Natsu introduce her already, I didn't raise you to behave like this." His mother starts to march towards him, rolling pin in hand again.

"Gah alright! This is Lucy, Lucy this is my mom Grandine, and my dad Igneel." He shields his head, but his mom backs off, nodding her head in approval.

"Lucy you say? What a lovely name, come with me dear" Grandine takes her hand, Natsu freaking out again, strangled noises coming from his mouth. She looks at him likes he's so strange, but I feel warmth spreading through my chest at his worry.

"You can be away from your girlfriend for more than a few second, idiot boy" I giggle, following after the woman, mouthing 'I'll be ok' to him as we leave the room. Wendy follows us, laughing at Natsu's face, while Igneel just shakes his head.

"Do you like to cook Lucy?"

"I try to cook from time to time."

"Then I will teach you, Natsu loves to eat so you must know how to cook if you're going to be his wife"

"W-w-wife!" I stammer, caught off guard from the comment.

"Of course, he has never dated anyone before, so you must be special." She winks at me, starting to stir a wooden spoon in a pot on the stove. "Can you make mashed potatoes from scratch."

"Um ya I can, where are the ingredients?"

"Wendy help her."

"Here are the potatoes, spices are over there, butter, sour cream and milk here."

"Thank you Wendy" I get started on the potatoes, boiling them to be softer before anything else. I pick through the spice rack while the potatoes cook. I grab thyme, oregano, rosemary, and garlic. When the potatoes start to finish I pour out the water, Wendy helping find the mixer. Grandine watches me out of the corner of her eye, a small smile playing at her lips.

"What are you doing Lucy?"

"Well for good mashed potatoes you mix everything together after you have softened the potatoes enough." I start to pour in the milk, melted butter, and sour cream. I then do a few dashes of each spice, and adding some green onions I found in the fridge.

"That looks yummy! I wonder if the boys will notice the difference." Wendy and Grandine start to laugh.

"Natsu maybe not, he just inhales. Igneel maybe, he has eaten my cooking this long" I blush a little, sitting on the barstool, hands in my lap. Grandine pulls out the lasagna from the oven that she had been cooking all day, while Wendy starts to put the vegetables in different dishes.

"Lucy could you get the garlic bread out of the oven, and put it on this dish here?" I nod quickly following her instructions. I find a knife to cut the bread into slices, trying to not burn myself in the process. Once all the food is done we take trips back and forth to the dinner table, there being at least 20 different dishes.

"Food is ready!" Grandine calls out, Igneel and Natsu barreling through the door, pushing each other out of the way.

"Finally!" Natsu quickly takes a seat next to me on my right, Wendy on my left. Igneel takes his place at the head of the table, holding his wife's hand.

"This all looks delicious darling, let's dig in." Before I can even move, Natsu took my plate and started to pile food onto it for me, so much there's no way I am eating it all. Igneel looks at Natsu is amazement as he hands me my plate then gets started on his own. I smile at him before digging in, my taste buds singing.

The room is soon filled with small talk and eating, until Igneel pauses, his fork still in his mouth. He swallowed before turning to his wife. "Dear did you do something to the mashed potatoes?" I choke slightly on my food. Did it taste bad?

"I didn't do anything" He murmurs before staring at the dish in confusion, "but Lucy made them tonight."

"Really now! I'll have you know Lucy that these are the best mashed potatoes I have ever had!" Grandine glares at him and he laughs nervously. "Besides yours of course darling"

"These are great Luce! You will have to make them again sometime" Natsu praises.

"If you marry this girl you can eat them all the time!" Igneel shouts. This time Natsu chokes, and he hammers his fist into his chest, coughing.

"Natsu!" I start to panic, until Natsu gives one last cough and takes my hand.

"I'm ok see? Ok Luce, calm down" He rasps. "Why are you going around saying things like that old man!"

"Because you never like girls, she must be special" He repeats Grandines words from earlier, both of the women laughing. Grandine looks at me, a smirk like Natu's playing at her lips.

"Tell me Lucy, what does make you different? He is far too gentle and caring of you? What did you do to bring that out?" Natsu and I exchange a look, his eyes asking the silent question, my eyes answering back, He looks at his parents, eyes darting to Wendy, mouth open to reply when Igneel interrupted him.

"Oh my gosh she's pregnant!" I freeze at his assumption, feeling all my blood drop to my toes, leaving my face pale. Natsu closed his eyes and stutters, before dropping his head in his hand.

"No she's not pregnant dad"

"Then why all the gentleness and food! You put way too much food on her plate!" He argues back, crossing his arms. Wendy beside me looks like she wants to be anywhere but near this conversation right now. If I could, I would be right behind her.

"It's something else, but I don't think Wendy should hear." He glances at her. She gladly leaves the room, the door swinging behind her. The older adults look at us, understanding the seriousness of the conversation. I reach up and dig my fingers into his sleeve once again. He gently takes my hand and holds it tight.

"She has anxiety…"

"Why is that dear?"

"I uh…"

"It's ok, take your time" Natsu smiles at me, making my heart beat a little faster and my confidence grow.

"I was kidnapped by a serial killer," The adults eyes widen in surprise, "and I'm his only victim to survive." I swallow, my spit choking me. Natsu rubs circles on the back of my hand with his thumb.

"She's doing better, if dating me is any indication" Natsu laughs.

"What do you mean Natsu?"

"She fears men to put it simply, and I can understand why" He spits the last words in disgust, his grip tightening. I look at him, wondering what he meant by that. I will ask him later.

"I apologize for earlier!" Igneel shouts out again, making a praying motion with his hands. I laugh a little, making his head shoot up to look at me.

"Don't worry about it. Natsu did the same thing a week into meeting me, well, kinda" I look at him sheepishly, while he just looks guilty.

"What did you do son?" Natsu just laughs nervously, his eyes on his mom.

"Well about that.."

"He caused a panic attack" I elbow him while he looks at me in fear, then back at his mom who has a dark aura around her.

"Idiot son! This girl is too good for you!" She leaps up, her butter knife in her hand. Natsu yelps and takes off, the door swinging behind him, only to be slammed open again by Grandine as she chases after him, screaming. Igneel just chuckles, starting to pick up empty plates and bowls. I help him, listening in fear to the shouts and crashes the resound throughout the house.

"Lucy you take care of that boy. He means well in everything he does, but he can be a real idiot sometimes."

"I will try. But I am the lucky one. I don't know what I would do without him."

"And I expect grandchildren soon!" He calls out as he enters the kitchen, and I drop the plates in my hands; luckily none of them breaking. He laughs like Natsu, or the other way around. My face is burning when Natsu walks back into the room. He is limping a little, and rubbing the back of his head.

"Che, that woman hits hard" I look up at him and laugh, now understanding why he flinched when Mira was mad at him. He is soon laughing with me, and helps me clean up my mess on the floor. Shortly after Wendy comes back to join us to a game. The hours seem to fly bye, and I feel at home with the Dragneel family, promising to come over again soon.

Natsu walks me to the door, and offers to check my house for because it is so late; later than I have ever been out before. "Thank you Natsu, I had a great time."

"I'm so glad Lucy. I'm surprised my parents didn't scare you away."

"They are wonderful people, Wendy too. You have a great family." I smile at him before giving him one last hug, and closing the door slowly, watching him head back down the driveway, until the lock clicks into place, punctuating the end to my night.


	4. Chapter 4

This chapter is dedicated to ToastedWeirdBrain, thank you for your support on the story, I will try to keep it going as long as I have inspiration!

* * *

I sit contently on the couch, my stomach full and warm. I hum softly as I close my eyes, the sound of dishes and running water coming from the next room. Smiling softly, I can see the woman in the next room clearly. How she will brush her hair behind her ear, roll up her sleeves and calmly work at the dishes. She sings softly to herself now, the habit starting a few months ago, her voice melodious and loving.

Lucy. The wonderful, astoundingly beautiful, strong woman I have fallen deeply in love with. The woman who has done nothing but change my life for the better. That choice I made almost one year ago, to talk to the quiet brunette girl, was my best yet.

No, it has not been easy getting to know her. She will still flinch, get lost in ugly scarring memories, or simply cry. She will have bad days, but I am working to make more good than bad. Lucy has bloomed into a tall sunflower, glowing before the scorching sun and shining for all to see. She is my most important person, and I never want to let her go.

I can't believe the last year has gone by so quickly. Next week is her birthday and that anniversary once again, and I won't leave her to suffer through this week alone anymore. My stomach starts to twist into knots as I finger the small box in my pocket. I have been carrying it around for a month now, never finding the right moment to ask this amazing girl to be mine. I open my eyes slowly, listening to my girlfriend in the next room.

I want so badly to ask her, but we have only been dating for little over four months. I don't want to push her, I don't want to scare her away. No matter how badly I want to get down before her and beg for her to stay by my side, I will not risk losing her. I push myself off the couch, loudly walking to the kitchen, learning my lesson all those months ago.

I take a seat at her table and watch her finish the dishes. She sings and smiles, soap suds covering her fingers. A smile slowly makes its way onto my face as I watch her. The way her bangs will fall into her eyes, those few stray wisps adorable. Her eyes crinkle at the edges, brows raised in joy. She only has one dimple when she smiles, the quirk also adorable.

She rinses her hands, using one hand to turn on the water and the other to grab the towel tucked into the cabinet door at her hip. She spins around, her eyes widening as she notices me at the table. She freezes, a far away look in her eyes. Her arms fall to her sides, the towel crumbling at her feet. I jump up, in two long strides I'm before her, softly touching her shoulders.

"Luce what's wrong?" She has started to cry, the tears slowly falling down her face. Using my index finger, I brush them softly off her face, her eyes still holding that lost look. I patiently wait for her to welcome me into her thoughts. Just waiting at her mind's door, my girl ever so cautious and too sweet for her own good.

"It's just-" She swallows thickly, "The last time you sat like that, at that table in that spot, was when you promised to never leave me alone again." She looks at me now, her brown pools rippling with questions.

"And I meant that Luce. Never will you be alone again."

"How did I deserve you? Why do you stay?" She whispers quickly after me, almost like she is quickly losing courage to ask those very questions. I almost laugh. She asks me these questions almost every day, but I don't mind. It just means I get to tell her how much I love her every single day.

"Because my beautiful sunflower," She blushes and glances away from me. I bring my hands up to her face, cupping it gently, her eyes flying back to mine. "You are my everything. I would be lost without you. I can't leave you, because you need me. I say this every day Luce. I love you." Her breathing hitches.

"Nat-" I hush her, not finished.

"What kind of man would I be if I left a woman I say I love because of a few challenges? Besides. Other woman hold nothing compared to you. They don't have you will, your beauty, inside and out. They don't have your history. I know it was ugly Lucy, but it made you stronger."

She silently stares at me, my speech a little different tonight. Her mouth hangs open slightly, tears falling slowly once again. I smile at her, hoping I am conveying how much I love her with that one smile.

"I wouldn't change anything about you, except that what happened to you never did," I growl slightly, "You are Lucy and I love you so much. I will never stop telling you. You didn't need to do anything except be the polite, kind woman at the corner store."

"Natsu…" She pauses, biting her lower lip. I snort slightly at the habbit. She does this when she is thinking hard over something. "I love you too." My hands slide to her shoulders in shock. Not once in all the time we have been dating has she said those three words. Her eyes widen at me, a panicked expression over riding her shy demeanor.

"You're crying! Oh Natsu, I'm sorry" Reaching up I touch my eyes, the wetness warm and slick. She continues to ramble, hands waving wildly. I rub my fingers together in wonder, then I start to laugh. I scoop her up in my arms, spinning her around the kitchen. "Natsu?!"

"Oh I'm ok Lucy. These are very happy tears, I love you so much." I set her down, my cheeks aching from my smile. Her hair is now tangles and wild, giving her a natural and sexy look. I swallow thickly, telling myself what I'm about to say is a bad idea, but my heart shuts my brain up.

"Lucy, you know how I have promised to never leave you alone?"

"Ya" She looks at me warily, not quite sure where I'm leading with my question.

"Wh-" I look into her beautiful brown eyes, pulling her closer, my nerves almost taking over. "What would you say to making that come true?"

"What do you mean Natsu?" I reach one arm into my pocket, and the other takes her hand. I slowly lower myself down onto one knee, and present before her the ring I have chosen for her. It is white gold, a simple band embedded with diamonds and two heart shaped fire opal gems in the center.

"Lucy, please, stay with me forever. Marry me so I can never leave you alone again. So I can protect you and shower you with all the love you deserve everyday." Again I patiently wait on her, I will always wait on her, especially if she says no. This woman surprises me once again with a slow nod of her head.

"Yes, don't ever leave me" She laugh and cries holding out her left hand for me to proudly put on her ring. Standing up I pull her close, her head tucked into the crook of my neck, fingers gripping the back of my shirt. I tighten my hold on her, laughing and crying with her, my heart telling my mind told you so.

A few moments later the mood is broken with the ringing of my phone in my pocket. I angrily reach behind me, pulling it out and scowling at the caller. Ice-heads ID flashes across the screen. I weigh hanging up, but decide not to or he will continue to call me until I pick up.

"What do you want fart-face?" Lucy does a double take at my change in attitude, I just smile and wave slightly, hoping to not worry her.

"You idiot, where are you? This is the first time you have made plans with us in months and you don't show?"

"Crap, I forgot." Lucy casts me a worried glance, but leaves me to answer my call, grabbing herself a glass of water. "I huh have a very good reason."

"I doubt that! What did you oversleep? What have you been up too these last few months anyway?" I hear some slight murmuring in the background and excited squeals.

"What is going on over there?"

"Mira and Lisanna said you have a girlfriend but I doubt that, no girl would ever look your way!" He laughs like it is the most ridiculous thing in the world. I scowl but grin proudly, playing this to my advantage.

"I don't have a girlfriend" Lucy take an interest in my conversation now, eyebrows raised.

"Ha! Told you guys that was impossible!" I hear Lisanna and Mira murmur in the background once again.

"I have a fiance"

"WHAT!" He shouts in my ear, the girls squealing starting up once again, they must have heard my news. I place my hand over the speaker of my phone and look at Lucy.

"Would you like to go to Fairy Tail and meet some of my friends?"

"That sounds like fun" She runs out of the room, and I bring my phone back to my ear just in time to hear Gajeel's shouted question.

"Salamander has a what now!?"

"That's what I said! Natsu, you have to be lying!"

"I'm not" I pick up my keys out of the bowl by the door and double check for my wallet, phone held between my shoulder and ear.

"But we haven't even meet her! You know I can't trust these demon sisters-ow!"

"See you in 10, ready Lucy?!" I shout out, laughing at Grey's strangled sounds as I hang up. Lucy comes out of her room in a short jean jacket, white shirt, and long skirt.

"This is exciting!" I open the door and laugh, following after her. Using my copy of Lucy's keys I lock her door, joining her in the truck. As we drive I watcher her carefully out of the corner of my eye, suddenly remembering some of the people that she will meet tonight.

"Just a warning Luce, some of these people can be intense"

"Like your mom?"

"Ya just like my mom" I snicker, "Oh Mira and Lisanna will be there too"

"Oh I haven't seen Mira in months"

"Oh did you stop having appointments with her?"

"Ya shortly after we started dating. She said I could still talk to her but we didn't need the meetings anymore."

"Good for you Luce!" We fall into content silence until we pull into the parking lot, now crowded and the sigh a blazing red. "Ready to meet some of the craziest people on the planet?"

"As I will ever be!" I take her hand and enter the restaurant bar. The almost all the tables are full, the bar crowded and noisy. Lucy's smiles wavers a little at the crowds, but I take her hand give it a squeeze, leading her deeper into the building.

In the back corner near the far end of the bar is our usual table, everyone crammed into it. I see Mira, Gajeel, Levy, Erza and Jellal. Lucy smiles and quickly walks to Mira, who rises to give her a hug. Everyone else just stares at me in subtle amazement, Gajeel trying to casually look at her finger.

"No way, he actually did it." He mutters and shoots me a glare. I glare back, silently challenging him to the fight. We just growl and glare, the air charged with testosterone.

"Mira, so nice to see you again" Lucy and Mira share a long hug, smiling like goofs.

"You too Lucy, now did I hear correctly?"

"Yes" Her face flushes a beautiful shade of pink, her head ducking into her chest.

"Congratulations!" Mira screams, pulling Lucy and I into a hug, jumping up and down. "I brought you together!" She grabs at her hand, examining the ring.

"What" I state in a monotone.

"Yes Natsu, I told Lucy to talk to you, therefore I made this" She gestures dramatically to us.

"Wait Mira what do you mean? How do you know, Lucy was it?" Erza asks, her cold stare focused on me.

"Well umm" Mira stammers, cautiously sharing a look with Lucy, "I was her psychiatrist"

"Oh my" Levy whispers, " So how did you meet Natsu? Oh I'm Levy by the way" She grins and reaches out her hand, smoothly changing topics.

"Lucy, nice to meet you. Natsu and I meet at where I work"

"Funny how those things go" Levy giggles.

"Isn't it"

"Ok there has got to be some pity in here, what sob story did he give you?" Gajeel turns his attention to Lucy, clearly confused over our relationship.

"Oi Metal-head what are you trying to say?"

"That you don't know how to woo women and you're ugly."

"Oh well actually Natsu is very sweet and loving. I also happen to think he is very good looking" Lucy says matter-of-factly.

"I'll believe it when I see it Blondie" Gajeel huffs, while Levy just smacks him upside the head.

"That's enough out of you, why don't you sit down" Lucy starts to take a step forward until she freezes, someone walking up to the table. I smirk at Grey as he walks up, Juvia trailing behind him.

"No way, you must have bribed her or something" Grey whines, scratching the back of his head. That's when I notice Lucy starts to shake, her eyes not leaving Grey.

"Lucy what's wrong. Talk to me" I worry, she hasn't had an episode this bad sense before we started dating. I glance at Grey and back to Lucy. "Is it Grey?"

"It's him, but how?" Grey steps forward, his forehead and eyes scrunched up in confusion.

"Oi, introduce me flame breath" Lucy jumps hard, her breath starting to come out short and heavy. I pull her behind me, cutting off her line of sight to Grey.

"Back off" I snarl, "You're scaring her" She squeezes my hand so hard my fingers pop, but the pain in nothing compared to hers. What is it about Grey to set her off?

"What are you talking about?" He tries to step around me and see Lucy, only making her knees buckle from under her.

"Lucy!" I catch her quickly, sliding with her to the floor. She starts to rock back and forth, tears coming down her face, her hands pulling at her hair.

"No, no, no. He can't be here." She is sobbing. I glance at Mira with wide eyes, and back at Grey. Everyone else is wide eyed. Grey looks scared, finally taking a step back.

"Grey leave now, I'll explain later" Mira stands up and helps me get Lucy to her feet, guiding her to the back of the restaurant, leaving the growing stares of other patrons.

"What just happened?" Jellal whispers as we leave.

"Mira did say she was a patient of hers" Levy murmurs, her voice drifting off as we leave.

"Hey Luce look at me. I'm here shhhh. There we go, there are your beautiful eyes." I brush her tears away and her hair behind her ears. "One, two, three, breath. There we go, that's my girl" I whisper to her, slowly calming her down.

"Lucy, take your time" Mira starts to say but Lucy starts talking right away, fear coming off her in waves, her hands still gripping her face.

"It was him, it was my kidnapper." We suck in our breath, shocked at her statement. "But-but, how can that be" She closes her eyes in concentration, trying to think logically. Mira whips out her phone and walks to a corner.

"Hello? Carol. Yes this is Mira could you please email me the complete file on the Platinum Slayer? It's for a patient. Thank you so much, you have a good night" Mira hangs up and quickly leaves the room. I turn back to Lucy, careful of how I touch her.

"Lucy can I help you into a chair?" She nods, trying to give me smile. Oh this girl is too amazing for me. Helping her into one of the spare chairs in the small room, she starts to breath better, however shedding a few shuddered breaths every few seconds.

"How can this be Natsu?"

"We will figure it out Lucy, but one thing I know for sure is that Grey is the same age as us. I don't know what is going on but I'm here" When I finish talking Mira storms back into the room. She looks defeated. She hands me her tablet, files opened up to a mug shot.

My eyes widen as I read the name on the mugshot. Silver Fullbuster. He looks just like Grey, only his eyes are crazed and dead at the same time. I begin to shake, angry and desiring to have something or someone to push it on too.

"Mira watch Lucy for me please."

"Remember Grey is as much victims as Lucy" Tablet in hand I leave the room and head back to the table, everyone shifting uncomfortably, eyes cautiously watching me.

"Natsu, whatever you think Grey-sama did, he didn't do" Juvia tries to defend, her blue eyes watching me with care.

"No it wasn't Grey, it was his father" I snarl, slamming the tablet down on the table in front of Grey. He freezes, eyes boring into the tablet screen.

"Natsu you have some explaining to do" Erza commands, her arms crossed over her chest, Jellal placing a hand on her shoulder.

"Lucy was a victim to a serial killer, Grey's father" My voice is cold, unsure how to process what I am feeling.

"Oh my gosh" Levy gasps, her hands flying to her mouth.

"She-she's the one who survived?" Grey whispers. His hands folded, her places her forehead on them. "Oh my gosh"

"Grey, she is going to be terrified of you" I speak softer now, getting down to his level. He looks at me, and I feel scared because never before have I seen Grey Fullbuster cry.

"Please tell her I'm sorry. If I had know what he was up too sooner, I would have stopped it. Oh man" He pushes his hands into his face, the guilt obviously eating at him.

"I don't blame you" I spin around, Lucy slowly walking toward us, Mira watching carefully. Grey looks up at her, clearly distressed about the whole thing.

"But I lived with him. I should have known something was up"

"Don't do that to yourself." Lucy tries to be angry, but her voice quivers, hands shaking. "Don't feel guilty for someone else's actions. Live your own life." Then she does something I never expected. She walks forward, determination clear on her face. With a wavering hand she touches Grey's shoulder, flinching slightly.

Grey laughs softly, "Oh I understand fully now why Natsu likes you. You are something else" He smiles at her, and surprisingly she relaxes.

"You are not fully him. Not once did he smile like that. You must get it from your mother" I pull her into a hug from behind, burying my nose into her hair. "I wish I could have gotten to know you guys some more, sorry for the-ya"

"Lucy don't be embarrassed or ashamed, you are not alone" Erza smiles softly, gripping Jellal's hand, sharing a look. "We are family, don't be afraid to talk to us."

"Thank you" Lucy smiles softly, taking my hand gripping it tightly.

"I'll take you home now Luce, I'll see you guys later" I look at Grey a second longer than the rest before guiding Lucy back out to the car, wondering how a wonderful evening could have turned out so stressful. I gaze at Lucy out of the corner of my eyes as I drive, wondering when she got so brave as to face the son of the man who tried to kill her. She gazes out the window, deep in thought, lost to reality around her.

* * *

Sorry if the end was a bit rushed there, but here is the next chapter! I not quite sure where to take the story next but I will try to not take to long on the next update. Thank you for reading! Reviews and suggestions welcomed.


	5. So Sorry!

Hey guys! Sorry that none of these are updates, I just wanted to let you guys know what is going on.

1\. I just got a new job with more hours and higher pay. This might mean less time to write.

2\. This job is giving my husband and I the chance to buy a house. I will be taking as many hours as I can to make this happen. Then a second car, I know ambitious!

3\. I will be trying my hardest to keep at the updates. This could mean chapters I'm not fully happy with or really short ones just to give me some creative flow.

But please stay tuned, I will be working on each chapter till the story is finished! Thank you guys for the patience and views!


	6. Chapter 6

The smell of pumpkin hangs heavy in the air, almost like a thick cloud. I rush down the street, the overcast skies brightening the colors around me. Reds, oranges and warm browns make up the trees, all of them quickly losing their pre season leaves. The toes of my shoes clack against the sidewalk as I go, pushing my way through the crowds of people. Reaching my destination I heave the doors open, the wind choosing this moment to throw a rather large gust my way, throwing my hair into a tumbled mess.

With a huff of annoyance, I rake the hair out of my face, trying to make it look nice once more. My eyes scan the small book store, finally landing on the colorful heads in the corner coffee shop. Walking over, the smell of ground beans, whip cream, and pumpkin once again grow stronger. I smile at the girls as I take my seat, both of them quickly responding.

"Lucy! How are you?" Levy leans over, giving me a side hug on my right. I reach my arms up to hug her back, my smile stretching wider.

"I'm great Levy, thank you."

"Lucy how great to see you again." Erza nodded to me, her respectful and friendly, however distant, front ever present.

"You too, Erza. How are you guys?"

"I'm doing well Lucy, did you want anything to drink? Levy pulls away, her eyes wide behind her red frames, a small wing on the left corner.

"Oh I don't drink coffee but thank you."

"What about tea?"

"Yes I love tea."

"I know just the one, be right back!" She jumps up, quickly leaving me alone with Erza. I don't have anything against Erza, but she is difficult to approach. I can't truly hold it against her, after all I am not the most open of people myself.

"Lucy," Erza begins, her eyes softening as they meet mine. "We asked you out today for many reasons. I know we haven't talked or even had intimate relations in the last three months; and for that I want to apologize."

"No need Erza!" I start but she holds up a hand, kindly cutting me off.

"First I thought I should share some of my own past with you. After all I know yours it's only fair to offer mine." I open my mouth to speak, but Levy rejoins the table.

"Your resistance is futile Lu, just let her finish." She offers a kind smile, her eyes showing understanding. With a sigh, and the dropping of my shoulders, I nod.

"Jellal and I both were kidnapped ourselves at a young age." My eyes widen, what a way to start off a conversation. "We were seven at the time, and sold off to a man over seas."

"He was a slave owner, having bought many other children, even a few adults. We were forced to work in his mines, a very dangerous job mind you. It wasn't until we were ten that the authorities caught wind of what was happening." I start to cry, holding my sobs with cupped hands.

"Oh Erza…"

"I am still scared of the dark, and have nightmares. I am lucky to not only have Jellal, but to have him understand my suffering." She smiles fondly at the golden ring nestled on her left hand. I also stare at it, the shine sharing its love, history, and promises.

"Thank you for sharing Erza." We both know that nothing more needs to be shared or said.

"Lucy we also wanted to thank you" I turn to Levy in surprise, quickly wiping away my tears.

"Thank me?"

"Yes. Because of you Natsu has become content, happier and has matured as well"

"Most definitely grown up, but still the same" Erza chuckles, wiping away her own tears.

"Oh you guys-"

"Just take our thanks Lucy, please?" Levy whispers, taking my hand her hers, gripping it tightly. "So stubborn!"

"Ok Levy, you're welcome." A shout comes from the counter. Levy vanishes and reappears with two tea cups and one large frozen coffee.

"Here Lucy try this it is amazing!" I blow softly on the tea cup, steam kissing my face, leaving faint traces behind. Pursing my lips I take a tentative sip, the spice overwhelming my tongue.

"Of course they would have a pumpkin and apple tea." I roll my eyes.

"What else can they possibly make for fall?" Levy laughs, taking large gulps from her coffee, the level already well down.

"Be careful Levy. You will give yourself a heart attack with all that caffeine."

"I'll be fine Lu, this is nothing!" She takes another big gulp, winking at me.

"So Lucy when is the wedding?" Erza interjects, her own cup of tea being left to cool.

"We haven't decided yet. We were thinking to wait until it is warmer again. Grandine on the other hand has other ideas." I shiver, thinking of the formidable woman who will become my mother-in-law. I have a hard time refusing her, so I've kind of been avoiding her.

"She can be insense" Erza lets out a low chuckle, finally taking a sip of her tea.

"Don't I know it. The first time I went over was slightly overwhelming."

"I imagine, especially with his dad. Igneel is a one man eccentric band." Levy laughs.

"He thought I was pregnant because of how caring Natsu was being"

"No way! That's hilarious!" Levy loses it, slapping the table top. I blush in embarrassment as other patrons turn to stare at the raise in noise level. Thankfully she quickly calms down.

"Speaking of children Lucy…" Erza drifts off, her brow scrunched up, "If this isn't an insensitive question. How will being intimate with Natsu go for you personally? Are children even something you are thinking about?"

I feel my face flush a considerable difference from my normally pale tone. It wasn't like the thought hasn't crossed my mind, but I try not to dwell on it. Not only was it extremely awkward, but it scared me. What if I did end up having a panic attack? What if I could never be the wife Natsu deserves? What if- what if.

Natsu deserves someone who can give themselves to him freely. Not weighed down by trauma and pain. Oh the pain!? What about my scars? He will surely find me unattractive. Then he won't touch me again, either out of pity or disgust. Then he will leave me, to find someone who can love him like a normal person. Someone who isn't damaged, ugly, and a burden.

And children. Even if I could, how could I possibly be a mother with how I am? I couldn't possibly be the emotionally stable loving caregiver they would need. I can barely take care of myself, let alone a dependant life. I had always wanted children, but-but that can't possibly be a part of my future now. Natsu will be crushed! I've seen how he acts around children. So loving and open. I probably can't give him two of the things he desires most with me. Sex and children.

"Lucy?" I'm pulled from my thoughts by the tender voice of the small woman next to me and the gentle hand on my shoulder.

"I'm sorry if I brought up bad memor-" Erza begins, but I quickly correct her.

"No it was nothing like that! He never did those things. He was only a sadist." I whisper the last part, moving my gaze from their worried ones to my lap. I take a deep breath, gripping my hands tightly in my lap, biting my lip.

"I don't know what would happen when Natsu and I-" I blush again, "Have sex." I take another deep breath, trying to organize my thoughts. They can probably help me make sense of my mixed up thoughts and emotions.

"Mira has offered both of us premarital counseling...just in case you know?" They both nod, only listening, letting me take my time. "Natsu and I have never talked about it. I know we should but.."

"But was Lucy?" Levy prods after a solid minute of silence.

"What if I can't? What if I can't be the wife he deserves? He deserves someone who is not me. This damaged husk." I spit out with such bitterness, you would think I just ate unsweetened cocoa.

"Lucy. Natsu chose you. He loves you"

"I don't want to cause him more trouble than I already do…" I look anywhere then their faces, mostly the scarred hands in my lap. I start to trace the one scar that stands out the most. It starts at the end of the bottom knuckle of my thumb, traveling all the way to the crook of my elbow. It stands out even against my snow white flesh, the pinkness of the scar having faded considerably over the years.

"After he sees all of my scars he will think I'm ugly, and treat me differently." My words start to come out hoarse, the burning pain in the back of my throat. I try to swallow but it only intensified the pain, my nose starting to burn as well around my sinuses. I was not only talking about my visible scars either.

"Lucy I don't think Natsu could ever think that. Trust me, I haven't seen you two together to often but I can see how much he loves you." Erza reaches across the table, taking my hand from tracing my scar and squeezing it tightly in her own.

"You know Lucy," She begins, "I sat down with him a few nights ago and he would talk about nothing else but you. Constantly saying how beautiful you are, and not just your physical looks. Those will fade, grow wrinkled and grey. No he would talk about you." I look up, finally meeting her gaze.

"He would talk about how you love to read and how passionate you get. He told me about how you cook and your beautiful singing voice." I feel tears starting to gather in my eyes.

"He told me about how caring you are Lu." Levy joins in. I slowly turn to see her as well, surprised to see tears in her own eyes. "How you are constantly considerate of those around you."

"Also about your temper and how it only made you cuter" Erza laughs. My lips quiver, my nose starting to run as much as my eyes. I can't hold it in much longer, I crack. I start to sob, once again attracting attention. Covering my face and hunching over the table I just let it out, months of pent up shame and guilt letting loose. All my love and care mixed in.

"I can't- I don't deserve him" I sob, "He deserves someone who is not me"

"Lucy," Erza has a slight threat to her voice now, but I quickly stop her.

"I can't give him what he wants most." I sniff out shame filling me as I prepare to reveal the one secret I have held so close to my heart and from Natsu. The one thing that will probably destroy us. "I don't want to see how he will react.."

"Lucy. You guys will work through it, I know you will. No problem is unfixable."

"This one is." I look at them so quickly, they jump in surprise. I feel another wave of tears coming on. My arms wrap around my stomach, hand resting just below my belly button. " I love him so much but I can't even tell him."

"Tell him what Lucy?"

"I can probably never have kids" I whisper, humiliation flooding through my veins. Their eyes shoot to my stomach, my grip tightening around my shirt. This time my sobs are quieter, more controlled. "All he talks about these days is how he can't wait to start a family with me. That he can't wait to spend the rest of his life with me."

"Oh Lucy" Levy slides as much as she can onto my seat, her arms wrapped tightly around me. With a shaking hand I lift up my shirt to reveal the dozens of scars the cover the soft tissue. They criss cross everywhere. All of them are different sizes, shades and depths. Each one made by a different weapon.

"Doctors say that the damage could be permanent" I hiccuped, "The chances of actually being able to successfully bear a child are so low" I lower my shirt, shoulder shaking.

"Even if I could bear a child..I could never be a mother."

"Lucy have you guys thought about adoption? You may not know this but Natsu and Wendy are adopted." I look at Levy in surprise.

"As for being a mother, you will be a great one. Like Levy mentioned earlier. Natsu thinks highly of your compassion and care and there is no such thing as a perfect mother." Erza offers a small smile, one that almost looks motherly itself. The sun shines behind her, making her red hair look like warm flames. Her brown eyes are warm and soft, giving off so much understanding and love.

"Lucy I know it is scary but you need to talk to Natsu about this. Your marriage will be off to a rocky start if you are too scared to talk to him now." Levy pulls back, giving me a pointed look.

"It will all work out. He loves you too much to leave you."

"Thank you girls" My words come out in a shuddered breath, my breathing shaking from the crying. "I'm sorry for bringing the mood down."

"Lucy don't you dare feel upset about that. We are girl friends, we are supposed to cry and be cried too. Never be afraid to come to us, but rely on Natsu first ok?" Levy jokes giving me a wink. I giggle along with her, finally hugging her back.

"Lucy I think you should go home and rest, we can do this again another time" Erza stands, offering me a hand, shaking it slightly before leaving with a wave. Levy continues to follow me, standing beside me.

"Did you park near by?"

"Ya just down that way." I point to the left, giving her a smile, "I'll be ok Levy, I'll text you when I get home ok?"

"Ok, drive safe Lu." She waves and starts in the opposite direction, leaving me alone with my thoughts, souped up emotions and fears.

* * *

I had showered and napped shortly after coming home, the nap doing little good. I am now pacing my bedroom, fussing over my worries and that Natsu will be here in a few minutes. My lip is raw from all the chewing and biting I have done. Levy kept texting me encouraging messages every few minutes, while Erza threatened me if I backed out.

I hear the door open and close loudly, Natsu calling out. My heart aches a little more. He is too sweet, too loving, too hopeful. I'm going to break his heart, I'm going to destroy his dreams. I'm going to cause more problems and hurt, like I do everywhere I go.

"Lucy? Honey where are you?" HIs footsteps grow louder as he approached my door, the creak pulling me from my inner turmoil. Natsu's eyes widen at the sight of me. That could be because of the fear I feel like I'm opening showing, or the fact that I'm in a tank top and shorts. Most of my scars he is seeing for the first time. I figured I'd get all of my worries out of the way in one go.

"Lucy..Oh baby" He rushes to me, gently taking my hand and leading me to the bed. He sits down next to me, wrapping an arm around me shoulder. "Are we having a bad day?" He speaks quietly, brushing my tangled hair out of my face.

"Ya" I feel myself squeezing inside myself, caving in on my insecurities. I just want to curl into a ball and hide away from it all. However I can't, I have someone I care about and who cares about me. I can not leave him in the dark.

"Do you want to talk about it."

"Natsu...You love me right?" I feel my throat closing myself again, eyes stinging.

"Of course. Don't ever think otherwise"

"Natsu..Oh this is so hard to say!" I scream in frustration, fist hitting the mattress.

"Shh take your time."

I take a few deep breaths, closing my eyes. "Ok I'll just say it...what if we can't have sex...will you still stay with me?" Natsu pulls back a little, he eyes wide and clearly surprised. His face reddens and he starts coughing awkwardly.

"Lucy I will work through anything with you. I know from your file you weren't sexually assaulted. Does the idea of sex scare you?"

"I'm scared I will have an episode and disappoint you."

"Lucy look at me." His hands my pull chin up, our gazes meeting. "I love you and if you can grow enough to get engaged to me then we can grow through anything else in our marriage." He kisses my temple arms tightening around me.

"But Natsu" I start blubbering, hiding from him again, "I can't be the one for you"

"Why would you say that Luce!?"

"Because I can't give you what you want!"

"Because you might have trouble having sex? Lucy I'm not a boy. I love you not your body. I'll wait as long as you need."

"No what you really want!" I sob harder, fear building in me.

"Lucy? What are you talking about?"

"Children I can't give you children!" I scream, bolting from the bed to stand in the center of the room. My hands find themselves on my stomach again. I can't see Natsu, but I can hear him. His breathing as increases along with my own.

"What?" His voice sounds devastated and cracked.

"Doctors said I could probably never have children." Closing my eyes I turn to face him, lifting my shirt just enough to display the damage to me stomach, to my womb. To the chance at our family. A future.

"Lucy, you just said there is still a chance." He laughs shakily. He sounds hopeful...who am I to get his hopes up.

"Natsu the chances are almost zero."

"Then we will adopt. Children aren't only blood, they are anybody you love."

"But how can I" I put emphasis on the word I, "be a mother? Tell me Natsu how can I do that? How can I give you the family you dream and hope for? I don't want to get your hopes up...I don't want to hurt you." The room grows silent and my face weighs heavy with slick tears. I can't stand any longer so I move to the floor, legs pooling around me. My face heats up from the trapped breath behind my hands. Minutes pass, the silence growing heavier with each passing second.

"Lucy I want you to look at me..there is something I need to do." I pull my hands away from my face, the fresh air instantly cooling it. Before I know what his happening, Natsu's face is in front of me and his lips over mine. My breath hitches, new tears mixing with the old. The kiss only lasts a few seconds before he pulls back, his dark eyes burning with determination.

"I love you no matter what Lucy. Our family will always be a family, with or without kids. I just need you to stay by my side and let me shower you with all the affections of a thousand suns."

"A thousand suns?" I snicker, wiping tears away.

"Yup a thousand because you deserve to have a light in your life now. No more living in the darkness. Plus with a thousand, it should never run out" He taps my nose smiling at me, "and always keep you warm."

"Thank you Natsu."

"Don't ever be afraid to talk to me about anything Luce, I will always be here for you." He lifts me of the ground, carrying me back to the bed. After tucking me in, almost like a burrito, he shuts the lights off, letting my already exhausted mind catch up with my just as exhausted body. I can feel the headache setting in as my eyes close and sleep over takes me.

"Good night Luce, I love you"

* * *

And here's another chapter! I thought this one was really important to the development of their relationship. After all there is rarely a situation where someone in a relationship experiences something traumatic and not struggle with physical intimacy or the idea of children. I'm sorry for how intense each chapter seems to get, I will try to make the next one a little more fluffy (maybe the wedding hmm?).

And thank you all 49 followers, can't believe I have that many! Thank you for reading and following. Honestly this is by far my most favorite story to write but is the hardest to gain inspiration for. But as long as there are readers and a story to finish it will go on!

Thanks again for reading!


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